I love most of the Facebook polls. If you were a teen in the 90s, do you remember the polls and quizzes in magazines? My friends and I would wait anxiously each month for latest issues of Teen, Seventeen and others. We put all of our stock into those quizzes and the truth of the data presented in the polls. I had been taking an inventory or collecting poll data myself for at least a year about the different pieces of DME (that’s hospital talk for durable medical equipment. It’s the category everything from adult diapers to mobility devices fit under). The results were inconclusive. The Walker and the cane and the crutches seem to be at a tie on which will bring the best mobility while alleviating the most pain.
Many of you know Joe and Bob.
They are the twins (crutches) who joined our family in August 2016. Before discharging me form the hospital, my doctors ordered a couple of visits with the PT (physical therapist). They wanted to check on Joe and Bob’s ability to continue to be support and pain relief during my recovery. However, I’m still not convinced they felt the gravity of the limitations of my fractures. They had to take into consideration my new restrictions, specifically “no bearing down and/or straining in any way.”
Joe and Bob stand in rebellion of their directive to be retired.
Joe and Bob supported me through all of this limited mobility crap. You don’t know how inaccessible the world is until you’re mobility is taken away. Bathrooms, doors, weather, crowds, aisle width all need to be taken into consideration when you determine if you’re going to go out. But Joe and Bob were unashamed, strong, unbending, although they caused the occasional armpit bruising. They are helpful in reaching across the room to turn of the light and scoot something you’ve dropped closer to you so you don’t have to get up to get it.
My PT suggested I go to the PT “gym” and try a walker, because Joe and Bob didn’t seem cut out for doing the job anymore. They needed a holiday. It felt almost like a secret consipiricy between her and my orthopaedic doctors, who had suggested that it was my only other option that might bring me acceptable pain relife.
Well…I really fought my doctors, because I was already feeling old, run down and like I was on the downhill of life with the fractures, osteoporosis and other health problems. However, they all must have known that with the foggy brain from the surgery and the pain medicine, my guard would be down.
So I took a walker for a trial run out of the PT gym and around the floor. I was able to move faster and my laps around the floor didn’t make my lower back ache.
Here she or he is. This is where the polling comes in! Are you as excited as I am? I need help naming Mr./Ms. Walker (I’m keeping the last name as Walker).
Nameless. She sits next to the bed to be used to help me get up and move around the house.
We’ve talked about names. We’ve discussed adorning her with duct tape, I personally joked about a white plastic basket with flowers and streamers like you put on a bicycle, but why not?
Now is your turn to help me out. Take the quiz below and help me choose a name and adornments for our new addition.